wave and smile: an emotional intelligence

a very interesting note came in from my favorite writer dee in her writing Luna bukan kopaja, about human addiction for other's pain.especially those that we thought having everything, you name it beauty, money, fabulous life. apparently that's how my mum ends up watching all that infotainment crap. Sorry, my tv is only a furniture that complete my room. Rather than watching tv, I prefer watching my mirror, really fulfilling my narcissus-complex-as-you-called-it so.
But what dee wrote is so true, you can never please everyone and yourself at the same time, you'll die trying. To all silly gossips and my surrounding assumptions about me, i rather wave and smile

Tie the Knot

Shouldn't there be a more magnificent reason I could think of rather than 'it's time'. Something like passionate love, the world is spinning when he is around, whatever...that is better than 'it's time to tie the knot'.

But I have none of that, I have no more cannot-live-without-you kind of love. All I have is willingness to be a part of one's life as he would too, witness each other's moments and grow together to be better.

The Fear is in the Air

Have you ever noticed a matador who stubbornly tries to tame a wild bull? His eye is stern and almost cold. His pose is confident and dominant, cause once he is hesitated and soft, the bull smells fear and the man wont have a chance to walk away from the showground

This is not a new awareness. Since God-know-when, all books of body language have stated that what you show could kill you. I always know which eyes say ‘I don’t know the answer, please don’t ask me’ or those that say “What you asked is ridiculous, even a five-grader could answer that”.

But when you face what you fear, it is not easy to recall all those theories of behaviorism. As, these few dreadful days, when I have to face my living partner, a partner that I didn’t know I have till he munched my grocery bag. We haven’t introduced each other properly since he ran away, faster than I could think of. And I scream, louder than I could think of.

We live together for a week or two. Till I realize he smells my fear in the air. It doesn’t need a psychologist that explains Pavlov’s theory of stimulus –response here. He appeared, I screamed. He ran, I screamed. He appeared again, I screamed and ran. Then, he ruled my kitchen, and I defend myself in my bedroom. It would be easier if I showed him my confidence and rage since he first appeared. Cause now, it’s getting late to tell him that you ruled the house when you actually not. I kicked all those boxes out of the kitchen, I screamed several times, but I didn’t stop till he leave. At last, I can say I owned this place, and he is just silly little mouse.

Lesson for today:
Be brave and confident for who you are. Show that nothing would beat your courage when you are right.

General Election

General Election might be a surprising topic, since I am not fond of anything that smells politics that I always assume dirty and pretentious. But it is tingling my conscience that being ignorant means as guilty as being involved in the dirty practice. Then, the closer I was to the final date, I became aware of more banner and posters on the streets picturing various pose of candidates. Some are well guided but their public relation advisors, some are poorly published in really bad taste. I mean, how could they expect I would choose one dressed as a clown to be my representative?

I also took my time to listen to one leading chairman of one party to the other reponded to certain issues, their courage, their attitude and their speeches. Some are brave, some are smart and humble. But I admire their spokespersons and communication team most of how they built an image that attracts voters.Based on that I took my chance to vote. Apparently I faced not one, not two or three but four vote sheets, that were confusing. So I consulted one of the most important person in my life for candidate profiles: my dad. Considering this and that, I walked condidently to vote.